TIME'S UP!

Dealing with our lives is the biggest challenge that we have. We really don't know where should we begin and when it will end. I've been born as a premature baby 7 months old if i'm not mistaken. An early start, isn't it? untimely perhaps, an advance moment for me. To begin earlier, walk earlier, talk earlier and most of all face the loads of life. So now, I begin to wonder I started prior to others, should I die prior to them also?
Recently I've heard a bunch of bad news or should I say shocking events. I've heard that a man of courage was put on his interment. He's the hubby of one of the friends of our family. I haven't talk to him personally but i've seen him many times. Every Christmas he spend sometime with us together with his family. He has been a great leader, a brgy.chairman to be specific, he have saved his community, fixed problems of their place and has been an instrument in building an active community. Life is really too short and too precious to waste. Many have spend their lives as a hero, a hopeful man, optimistic youth but yet the one who made us really do need to pick them up so early. I can't blame Him, for He only have lend them to us, and parting with someone hasn't been a very big yoke to me; i never ask God why, i never got angry at him, i never cried but i badly miss them too. Then, just a few days before I have heard that our teacher's father has been fetch by the holy angels from above. I know it was really surprising, and it will really touch the heart of our teacher. I had visited our teacher's home, and there I felt agony, melancholy as if it's the end of the world. It seems to be quiet, and i know that the family can't accept the head of the family's fatality. Again, several questions came up to me.. "This man is an outstanding employee yet why it is too early for him to be fetch?; When will He take me to the heavens?; Am I going to die as unexpected as He?" Death is the hardest wound to believe, to accept and to heal. It really put our faithfulness in to test, should I ask again? My teacher is not only any other teacher a values teacher to be exact, a woman of sacred faith. How come she couldn't learn to take such things? I know days have gone since his dad passed away, crying is free, i know it hurts that much. She even asked one of our teachers to whisper to God and plead to bring back his father. Everytime someone talks to her, she kept crying. Then, something came up to my mind, what if I am fated to die today? Will be there someone to cry for me? Would they blame God? I just hope that they won't because God has been very good to me. In everything that I do, God had given me his full guidance.
Is it already my time? I hope that God will make room for me in heaven. Could I spend more time here? Coz it seems that i'm not yet done of achieving my dreams, living my life to the fullest and leaving with no regrets. I promised myself to make my life to the fullest everyday, explore, try new things, discover new ideas, share and give. For one day, who knows Gabriel might come down from the heavens and fetch me up. I believe that I'm strong enough to face challenges in life, but i only look forward for two things and that is trust and freedom. The trust of my family in me, how could i start exploring if every lil time i spent outside they always think other things that i am doing? whenever i try to be an active student they thought that i am overdoing it? And i want freedom, freedom to befriends with others, freedom to take my own course, freedom to express my feelings which i cannot do at home. When will I have this things? I wish that it would be atleast before my time ends up.